Mark Von Holden/Getty Cameron Mathison told PEOPLE that losing his home in the Los Angeles wildfires in January has tested his sobriety "The pull and the thoughts [of drinking] are definitely stronger," the actor said at the NAMI WLA 2025 Mental Health Gala He shared that when he feels the urge to drink, he tries to "turn inward" and work on finding "serenity" and "peace of mind" Cameron Mathisonis opening up about how losing his home in theLos Angeles wildfireshas challenged his sobriety. While chatting exclusively to PEOPLE at the NAMI WLA 2025 Mental Health Gala in Los Angeles on Thursday, May 8, theGeneral Hospitalstar revealed that the trauma and heartbreak of seeing his family's home destroyed in the blaze has sometimes made him want to turn to alcohol. "I have to say, the pull and the thoughts are definitely stronger these last four months — more so than the last 20, 21 years of my life," he says. Mathison, 55, tells PEOPLE that when he feels the urge to drink, he tries to "turn inward." "For me, it all comes down to serenity, peace of mind. And so when I feel that craving, that want, that need, that trying to satisfy an inner problem with an outer solution — whether it's a mind-altering substance or whatever — I really try to turn inward and work on my inner qualities of love, compassion, patience, generosity, kindness, and train in meditation, work on that serenity through community, through my own spiritual practice," he explains. "And I haven't been great with it, to be honest, the last four months," he says. "But that's what I try to do. And I know that's what I need to do more of." Mark Von Holden/Getty Mathison first embarked on his sobriety journey nearly two decades ago. In a2021 Instagram postmarking 15 years without alcohol, he shared his motivations for making the change. "15 years ago today, I made the choice to give up alcohol. People always ask me why and the answer is very simple… because I want to be the best dad, husband and person I can be. I want to be as mindful as possible in my life, and deal with things with my full awareness," he wrote. "People tend to think that giving up alcohol restricts you from 'living,' but for me it did the opposite… it gave me freedom," added the actor, who shares son Lucas, 22, and daughter Leila, 18, with his ex-wife Vanessa Arevalo. When his house was destroyed by the wildfires, Mathison shared a devastating video onInstagramshowing the aftermath. At the time, he wrote, "We are safe. But this is what's left of our beautiful home. Our home where our kids were raised and where they wanted to raise their own someday." Cameron Mathison/Instagram Reflecting on the loss months later at Thursday's gala, Mathison told PEOPLE he is still coming to terms with it all. "It is so unsettling and … hard to put into words because I've got so many good things and so much to be grateful for, but this was a massive, massive experience of losing my kids' entire lives and every piece of evidence of my existence and everything I've ever owned," he explains. Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE's free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. "When I drove up to my house that morning, my house was on fire. I had five possessions. I had what I was wearing. I had a car and a phone, and I had nothing else in that moment. And I worked really hard in this business for a long time to have a nice life," he continues. "So, [it's] just going to take time." Mathison says he is finding solace in helping others affected by the tragedy and in practicing gratitude. "But there is the healing that has to happen to it," he notes. Read the original article onPeople